Top Five: Badass’s With Eye Patch’s

Eye patches are most badass of all fashion accessories, in fact they are the only badass fashion accessory.  I have listed below my Top Five Badass’s With Eye Patch’s.  The rule is that there must be a patch, magical eyes or strips of cloth don’t count so Mad Eye moody from harry Potter and Dilios from 300 cannot be in the final cut!

(5) Nick Fury: Colonel Nicholas Joseph “Nick” Fury head of SHIELD, herder of Avengers and all round badass of the world. This is the guy who wrangled up thunder gods, super soldiers, Russian spies, and genius billionaire playboy philanthropists and turned them into the worlds mightiest heros.   Nick Fury has trained as a paratrooper, Ranger, demolitions expert and vehicle specialist.  He is a seasoned unarmed- and armed-combat expert, was a heavyweight boxer in the Army, and holds a black belt in Tae Kwan Do and a brown belt in Jiu Jitsu. He may not be an actual superhero, but Nick Fury is still one of the baddest, toughest and most long-lived characters in the Marvel Universe.

Why the eyepatch? In comic book canon, it’s because he took a piece of shrapnel to the eye while at war.  Bazookas, grenades, borderline suicidal schemes and beating up Nazis probably played a hand in it.

(4) Odin: Odin “The All-Father” warrior-king of Asgard, father of Thor, Loki and Tyr , the chief God in Norse mythology and all round badass of the Gods. Need proof? Odin once punched a giant wolf in the face and then tied it up and laughed at it with a bunch of other guys from Valhalla. For fun. He can drink any other God under the table. Armed by the mighty magical spear Gungnir, forged by the dwarves and enchanted it so that it magically never misses its target. Odin is the all-powerful ruler of Asgard. As such, he is wise, honorable, and dedicated to keeping the peace between the Nine Realms.

Why The Patch? Odin originally had two eyes, but he traded one of them for a drink from the Well of Wisdom, which gave him the knowledge of everything that has happened and will happen.

(3) General Chang:  In Star Trek original universe cannon General Chang was a Klingon officer and chief of staff to Gorkon, Chancellor of the Klingon High Council in 2293. In that year, Chang was involved in the conspiracy to sabotage peace talks between the Klingon Empire and the United Federation of Planets.  Check out Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.  Star Chang enjoyed meeting Captain Kirk, whom he regarded as a fellow “warrior” and the two could have been best friends if they were not enemies .  What puts him in my list is that his patch is bolted onto his face and that he is a Shakespeare buff who quotes the Bard in the middle of a chaotic space battle… Thats bad ass!

Why The Patch? General Chang lost his eye in a blood duel against the usurper Kalnor who attempted to gain control of the Klingon Empire.  You have to hand it to the Klingons, blood duel sounds so much cooler than fight.

(2) Snake Plissken:  S.D. Bob “Snake” Plissken is a bad ass ex- U.S. Army Special Forces Lieutenant and war hero in World War III turned criminal. Snake portrayed by Kurt Russell, the films Escape from New York and Escape from L.A.  Some facts about snake courtesy of Cracked.  1, Snake Plissken is fucking badass,  Even looking at him can cause injury.  2, If there was an opposite of Care Bears, they would be Don’t-Give-A-Fuck Snakes, and they would all look like Snake Plissken. 3, Snake can kill a lot of people with a sneer.  Snake really is a badass, need proof.  He had his personality and Psych profile loaded into an AI Robot. It went haywire, started thinking like Snake and rampaged. Snake has an unbelievable tolerance for pain. Beaten, shot, you name it and he keeps walking.

Why The Patch? He lost it in WWIII.  Sounds reasonable enough.

(1)One-Eyed Willie: One-Eyed Willie was a famous pirate who captained the The Inferno back in 1632.  Willie and his men sailed into the sunset many times carrying a vast amount of rubies, emeralds, and diamonds, along with a load of doubloons, and Spanish Reals. However after a cannon battle with the original owners of the “Rich Stuff,” Willie and The Inferno got trapped in a cave in Astoria, Oregon.  Here is where they waited, and the legend of One Eyed Willie and his treasure became the focus of many treasure hunters, all of whom never found it. Mikey, Chunk,Brand, Stef, Andy and Data went to find his “rich stuff” in the movie The Goonies. Willy is known for the creation and use of ingenious traps that could take down even the most experienced treasure hunters.

Why The Patch? He was born with only one eye socket.  This guys been patching it up since birth!  Now thats bad ass!

There you have it, myTop Five: Badass’s With Eye Patch’s.  Now to take a note from a friend, this is my personal Top Five so if someone you don’t like is on it or if someone you do like is not, get in touch via the comments section.  I would love to here who you would of seen on your list.


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