The Last Song – Jason Webley

Sounds like it has been hollered out by a pirate and I love it!  It is reminiscent of another much sweeter song that I can’t put my finger on.  Full of a sadness that can’t quite be placed but at the same time makes me smile.  Its at odds with what it is, hazy happy sad and confusing.  I could imagine it being sung drunkenly with me and my friends in the wee hours of the night.  Jason Webley’s fusion of folk, experimental and alternative music is just something all of its own and I have really enjoyed getting to know his music.  Jason began as a street performer, playing accordion in the streets of Seattle, Washington, but has since moved in-doors and on stage, playing various venues.

Artist: Jason Webley
Song: The Last Song
Album:  Against The Night
Released:  Sometime in 1999

A Brief History of Pirateism by Keith Greer

or “Why the Vikings weren’t Pirates” or “The Muppets, Tom Hanks and Life on the High Seas: An Exposé”

FOREWARD

This post was originally commissioned as a review of the 1996 Jim Henson film based on Robert Louis Stevenson’s classic tale of pirates. That, as it turned out was not very easy to write about. So I didn’t. It has turned into something of an exposé, bringing Pirate month here on The Flat Cap to a close by separating out the fact from fiction (and leaving mostly the fiction).

A BRIEF HISTORY OF PIRATEISM

A well known scientist (some say it was Bertrand Russell) one gave a public lecture on astronomy. This has very little to do with Pirates, you may think, and fundamentally you’d be correct. For some time the stars were used by pirates to find their victims.

The word “pirate” is derived from the Latin term pirata which is a type of formal pitta pocket, not the kind you fill with super noodles and cook in the toaster or eat cold. But the kind you get at a higher-class Indian restaurant maybe one of the ones with the tray-thing in the middle of the table that spins so people can steal your curry, and has a proper leather-bound menu rather than a laminated one. You know the kind of place. Anyway, well, that’s it, that’s the definition of pirate. Let’s move on.

Some say pirateism started with the Vikings. Of course the Vikings had no parrots, plank-walking or pieces of eight so by every classical definition they are not pirates. So we can park that idea and get on with this thing. Next-up are the Romans (the republican/democratic-ish kind before they got into the Emperor business) and the Greeks (the intellectual kind, before they sold their souls to the European Central Bank). I looked at this myself and basically there’s a lot of dates and complicated names (the Gothic-Herulic fleet?!) which basically boils down to, yes. There was a bit of piracy in and around the time of the Romans/Greeks and it sounds a bit like what we would consider pirate-ish but still not within the more classical definitions I outlined previously.

The “golden age” of pirates was during the age of exploration and the likes of Sir Francis Drake on through the buccaneers of the 1500s and 1600s to the greats of Sir Henry Morgan (who would become Lieutenant Governor of Jamaica) and Kazimierz Lux a Polish Pirate who sailed the Caribbean. Pierre Lafitte was a French Pirate in the Golf of Mexico and lesser-known brother of Jean Lafitte, who himself is lesser know.

Of course today pirateism is most closely associated with sub-Saharan peoples who forcibly remove Tom Hanks as captain after a water fight which also involved fireworks. This kind of tomfoolery should not really be compared to proper pirateism, which of course includes eye patches and talking like you’re drunk. In conclusion, Muppet Treasure Island is a good film with some catchy tunes. It is much more true to priateism than any film involving Tom Hanks (except Saving Private Ryan, which is an awesome film and tops any category, ANY).

CONCLUSION

In conclusion A Muppet Treasure Island was a much better representation of pirates than Captain Philips.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) is back this time embarking on a quest to find the elusive fountain of youth. However Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) now under the kings command to find the fountain before the Spanish is on the quest too! However again, hot on their heels is the Pirate Blackbeard (Ian McShane) and his daughter Angelica Teach (Penélope Cruz) aldo looking for immortality but who if any will get there first!

On Stranger Tides is my least favourite of the lot, it just lacked a lot of the wit and charm that its predecessors had in abundance. The story is good enough but it felt less adventurous and more of a race. Each man had their reason for the quest but none felt truly gripping! It felt set aside from the original trilogy, which I guess is what the film makers where going for with only Jonny Depp, Geoffrey Rush and Kevin McNally returning from the original cast, but it pushed the distance in the extreme. The lack of back story between Sparrow and Angelica Teach felt thrown together and the introduction of Blackbeard was lack lustre, and his character in general was so unlike the other loveable rouges we have come to know, he felt greedy, arrogant and totally unlikeable.

Why did I choose this movie, well its Pirate Appreciation month, and I also needed to close the set of movies! I’m not a huge fan of this movie but for what it is I can find enjoyment. Jonny Depp is perfect and if anything the chemistry between him and Geoffrey rush is even more spectacular. The escapes and antics feel somewhat staged rather than the explosion and surprise have come to expect. It is also a lot more land locked, jungle trips and running about London, not as much pen sea swashbuckling action! I may be going too hard as Stranger Tides does aim to start again without the reboot button, and a lot of new aspects are introduced which is fun! Give it a watch if you haven’t already!

 My Rating: C+
Format: DVD
I Own This Movie
Artwork By: H. Svanegaard

Munchkin Booty: by Gavin Clohessy

It’s a bright summer’s day, the sound of the ocean in my ears, the smell of salt in the air and the taste of victory, gunpowder and shark blubber in my mouth. I am currently in an intense battle against an ocean of natural and unnatural phenomenon as well as three cunning foes with an arsenal of monsters, ships and magic at their disposal. A loud cry of determined vigour as a great white shark, one of the ocean’s most feared predators, swims its way towards me with the menacing glow of what looks like a thousand cold steely daggers aimed at my jugular with pinpoint precision in mind.  I feel the beat of my heart rise at pace but have the calmness of poised cobra ready to strike my oncoming prey, for I know that I too have an arsenal of my own. I send forth my champion, Sword in hand and the guns of his ship ready to fire on command.

Seeing the immense strength I possess and knowing I could dispatch this overgrown trout with ease one of my foes sends forth an evil monster to join the fray, a zombie shark, concocted in the depths of a maniacal lab somewhere and released on the world to destroy and wreak havoc and despair. I gasp for a thousandth of a second realising the gravity of what has just happened but only for a thousandth of a second, as I happily reel the gasp back to that tickly part of the top of my throat for I have quickly deduced that the monsters strength is still too little to undo my accrued greatness. I have a superior strength which I can fee nobody and nothing can overcome.

The fun begins.

My other foes smack their lips and tasting blood clamber over one-another’s hateful actions to add to the blow already inflicted. Potions and Monsters are thrown at me hand over fist. Adding to the tally of strength for my enemy.  Seeing my enemy’s strength grow I feel victory slowly being pulled from my grasp. Weary from what has been a tough battle I release my ‘coo de gra’ which doubles my strength putting me a world out of sight of all my enemies tricks combined and allowing me to slither to my glorious and well deserved victory. I have won, or so I thought.

Treasure Island

“Fifteen men on a dead man’s chest Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum!” This the favoured sea shanty of the old sea dog who we meet in the “Admiral Benbow” and when our story of Treasure Island begins. We follow Jim Hawkins as he recounts his adventures from the finding of the map in the old buccaneers’ chest to the meeting of literature’s most beloved “bad guys,” Long John Silver. This charming ruthless and wondrous rouge sets sail with young Jim and crew across the Caribbean in search of the booty. Treasure and fortune mutiny and murder, land and sea adventures Treasure Island is the classic pirate story.

Robert Louis Stevenson takes marvellous command of this perfectly structured form with a subtle storytelling narrative which leaves each chapter on a cliff-hanger and drives the reader on compelled to plunder the narrative loot.  The complex and unexpected relationship that matures between Long John Silver and Jim transforms the seemingly straightforward, rip-roaring pirate adventure into a intensely moving study of one boy’s growth into manhood.  Jim learns hard lessons about friendship, loyalty, courage and honour and the ambiguous grey area between good and evil.  A definite book for boys, but girls can enjoy it too!  A favourite upon my bookshelf and a must read for everyone!

Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End

Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End, sees the crew all assembled again. Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) and Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) Yes did you see his epic reincarnated return at the end of Dead Mans Chest? As if Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) falling to the clutches of the Cracken wasn’t a cliff hanger enough! Our crew are joined by the mysterious Tia Dalma (Naomie Harris) and the dreaded pirate captain Sao Feng (Chow Yun-Fat) and must brave the waters at worlds end to rescue jacks soul from Davy Jones locker. Add to that all the trouble that the powerful alliance formed by Lord Cutler Beckett (Tom Hollander), Davy Jones (Bill Nighy), and Admiral James Norrington (Jack Davenport) stomping about the high seas trying to stomp out piracy.

Its all out action from start to end and as it was Bloom and Knightley last movie in the saga they held no punches!! The craziness of Sparrow sorry Captain Jack Sparrow is just what you would want. Got all the same swagger and unmissable rum fueled escapes as you have come to expect. The movie also ties up all of loose ends of Curse of the Black Pearl and Dead Mans Chest but there still is loads of new stuff to talk about. Who are the pirate lords for one, there is a spin off movie right there or at least some sort of prequel! We all know what happens though, “On Stranger Tides” but still I really think they should do a prequel

Why did I choose this movie, it is Pirate Apparition Month and  I had to complete the first trilogy. It is hard to pick a favourite of the three this one has a lot more going for it than the others but well you cant beat the charm of the first one i suppose. What you get out of this movie however is nearly three hours full of crosses and double crosses and triple crosses… everything you would expect from a bunch of yo- ho-ho, rum drinking, scummy and villainous pirates! Yearrrr! I am sure that you have seen it and that I’m telling you all nothing new! But if you haven’t climb out from under that rock you have been living under and go rent or buy it!

 My Rating: B
Format: DVD
I Own This Movie
Artwork By: H. Svanegaard

The Drabblecast 202 & 203 – Boojum

Continuing my Pirate Appreciation Month I will point you all towards this podcast on The Drabblecast.   Boojum, Parts One and Two by  Elizabeth Bear and Sarah Monette. This podcast story is about of a group of space pirates, yes space pirates, and its focus is primarily on one called Black Alice and her relationship with Lavinia Whateley.  The twist is that the Lavinia Whateley is a living space ship called a Boojum.  It is a really solid and enjoyable story, the depth of detail really transports you into the world and you do care what happens to the characters.  It has scope for so much more in the extended universe do i will be looking out for more!

Find Parts One and Two by clicking the links.  Also check out the other great stories on the site. Listen and subscribe by clicking The Drabblecast which will take you to the site!  Enjoy!

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, is the first of two sequels to Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. Both “Dead Mans Chest” and “At Worlds End” were filmed back to back developing a story arc that would span both films, and retroactively turn The Curse of the Black Pearl into the first of a now going to be a saga of movies. Now all that background stuffs done onto the movie!  First of all… what a beginning, no mucking about with a back story or any of that nonsense just straight in there with the action and allowing us to trust that all will be explained as the story unfolds. The action is even more intense than the first the sword fights more insane and all topped off with the amazing special effects of Davy Jones and his crew.

Johnny Depp, is back again as Jack Sparrow, sorry Captain Jack Sparrow and he is doing his drunken, savvy rock and roll pirate thing. Not doing anything new but why mess with what works in my opinion. Less of a scoundrel maybe this time around but  flailing his arms around during his even more fantastic crazy escapes and running to get down to good old-fashioned pirating! Yearrr! Orlando Bloom returns also and is better than he was in the first, finding himself a stronger role than last time. Keira Knightley is also stronger this time around getting a bit more action leaving the soft and delicate Miss Swan behind her and grabbing a sword.  A mention for Bill Nighy as Davy Jones as his performance is amazing, the special effects truly make him one slithering creepy bad guy.  As for the rest of the old pirate gang they also return with the same skullduggery and sailing under no colours but their own!

Why did I choose this movie, Its Pirate Appreciation  Month! I had watched the first one last week so I like to keep it all close together. It follows on perfectly from the first kicking right into the action like I said without bothering too much to introduce the first movie, because simply put you should have went and watched it!  I have the soundtrack to this one too! Also I have been pondering a tattoo, my skull and cross bones is again calling me.  Lastly its Pirates! Yearrr!!

 My Rating: A
Format: DVD
I Own This Movie
Artwork By: H. Svanegaard

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, the first in what is rumoured to be a Six part saga, and I think my favourite of the lot. Jay Wolpert developed a script based on the theme park ride in 2001, and Stuart Beattie rewrote it in early 2002.   Enter producer Jerry and before you can say walk the plank, we have ourselves a franchise. There is more action in the later movies but this one is much more cleaver with the characters and script.  It’s not all about the action for action sake its more “Savvy”.  It’s all the wee back story that is not fully explained until the later movies.  I think it would be cool if when they are done they do at least one prequel there is so much they still need to show it would be amazing!

Everyone says its Jonny Depp’s best character, it’s undeniably true that the movie rests on his amazing performance of the drunken, roguish, and insane Jack Sparrow Depp done it so well it’s unimaginable to see anyone else ever playing the role.  You just love how he always gets himself out of trouble with the sharp witted comments and scallywag smirk.  All the characters are amazing, Geoffrey Rush as villainous Captain Barbosa is as good at being bad as Depp was at being mad.  You even feel sorry for the poor cursed fellow by the end, or at least I did.  They cast Orlando Bloom the blacksmith’s apprentice cast for that “Errol Flynn” feeling (so I have read) and as a handsome counterpart to Depp. Kiera Knightly .. need I say anymore!

Why did I choose this movie, well its Pirate Appreciation Month thats way! I was in the mood for something fun to watch. Now that I have watched it all I want is a sunny deserted island with loads of rum, and coconuts. The whole movie is just filled with swashbuckling fun and that big open sea adventure.  I own the soundtrack to this movie, which is a flipping class listen, so it gets points for that!  I’m really glad Disney has brought back the greatly underused genre and just made it more magic and fun!  If you have not watched it yet then I suggest you climb out from under that rock you have been living under and get it bought or downloaded!

 My Rating: A
Format: DVD
I Own This Movie
Artwork By: H. Svanegaard

Pirate Appreciation Month

I have decided to make February Pirate Appreciation Month here on the Flat Cap.  This means a whole host of posts dedicated to those swashbuckling buccaneers who sail the open seas under there Jolly Rodger under no man’s rule but their own.  So why Pirate’s?  Well Pirates are one of my favourite things!  It’s the sense of adventure, buried treasure, eye patches, being an all-round bad ass, and they can have a hook for a hand and not be thought of as terrorists!  I have been dabbling with a Pirate theme tattoo sleeve with sea shanty’s skulls and a pin up maybe even a big ship!  So hoist the colours me hearty’s and get ready to set sail into Pirate Appreciation Month!